Tool Usage 101
Hammer: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadyas is used as a kind of radar device to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit
Mechanics Knife: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard boxes delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing seats and motorcycle jackets
Electric Hand Drill: Normally used for spinning steel pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheels
Pliers: used to round off bolt heads
Hacksaw: One of a family of cutting tools built on the pessimism principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence it's course, the more dismal your future becomes.
Vice Grips: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand
Oxyacetylene Torch: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting grease inside a brake drum you're trying to get the bearing grease out of.
Drill Press: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your coffee across the room, splattering it against the freshly painted part you were drying
Wire Wheel: Cleans rust off of old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in the time it takes you to say, “Ouc...”
Hydraulic Floor Jack: Used for lowering a car to the ground after you have installed those lowering springs and new rear disc brake set-up, trapping the jack handle firmly under the fender
Eight-foot long Douglas Fir 2x4: used for levering the car upward off of the hydraulic jack
Tweezers: A tool for removing wood splinters
Phone: Used for calling your neighbor to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack
E-Z Out bolt and stud extractor: A tool that snaps off in the bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit
Timing Light: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease build up
Two-Ton Hydraulic Engine Hoist: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to disconnect
Battery Electrolyte Tester: A handy tool for transferring sulphuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your tool box after determining your battery is as dead as a door nail, just as you thought
Metal Snips: See hacksaw.
Trouble Light: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is used as a good source of vitamin D, “the sunshine vitamin” which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, it's main purpose is to consume 60-watt bulbs at the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, it's name is somewhat misleading
Phillips Screwdriver: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads and can double as an oil filter removal wrench by stabbing through stubborn oil filters
Prybar: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent particularly
Hose cutter: A tool used to cut hoses ˝ inch too short.
Breaker Bar: As the name implies, used for snapping the last 17mm socket you had and forcing you to go to Sears just minutes before they close and hope they still have some in stock to get them replaced.
I never let schooling get in the way of my education
-Mark Twain
How about the proper forum for starters?
