This is like my 2nd or 3rd post ever in this section on the org.... I am going to make it quick and simple... If you take this the wrong way then oh well....

Before I start... I have nothing against God or anything in those lines. I believe in God and what have you....

My grandmother... she is 88 years old.... to this day, I have never seen her use any bad words, never seen her do harm to anyone, she has always opened her doors at her house to strangers, taken care of everyone as much as she could. She took care of my grandfather until he died....

2 Days before Thanksgiving she went into the hospital... to this day she is still in the hospital... for the past 3-4 weeks now, we can all tell that she is suffering like its no ones business... she has no tubes in her at all.. she refused all that stuff... IT is TIME for her to die.. everyone knows that.. SHE even knows it.. as she says I just want to die....

So why is she suffering? Why can she not die in piece? Why cant God just end her life and let her have some pride when she does... why does she have to suffer for 50+ days laying on a hospital bed when nothing happens to her... she is dying a very slow death... I mean how much longer does the poor woman need to suffer before she passes on?

Today, I spent 2 hours with her... for the next 4 days I will not be here so I just more or less kissed her "good bye" because I hope and pray she dies and tries to die with some dignity... I am not trying to be a cold hearted SOB or a @sshole... I just don't understand why she is suffering like this....

For the past 50 days my mother and father have gone to the hospital at least 3 times a day 1-2 hours each time.. trying to talk to her.. feed her some home cooked meals and trying to comfort her as much as possible.... I have gone a few times but not as many as they have... I cant stand seeing her in that condition...

I don't think I have cried like I cried today when I saw her... as I was rubbing her arms (due to all the pain she has) I just busted out crying because I could not take it any longer. When my grandfather died June 13th 2005 I did not cry at all... I only cried at the funeral home when I saw my grandmother fall over his casket and start crying... that is when I busted out crying... today for 2 hours I could not stop crying because of all the pain she was in.... I just wished she was dead so she would not suffer anymore... I am not a cruel person.. my mom, dad, sister everyone wants her to die already because 24/7 for the past 50+ days she has done nothing but suffer in that damn hospital...

I'm not looking for any sympathy from anyone.. nor am I looking for any pity from anyone as well.. I just want to know WHY God has not taken her life yet.... I may be posting this in the wrong area, I may be just ranting or venting but I have a lot on my mind before my flight in the morning....

Sorry for my ranting.... and venting... sometimes i just don't understand anymore....

Any-who... ya-ll have a safe and sound weekend.... if anyone cares I shall be back late Monday night... unless I say Eff it to all and just stay out in MD and not come back to Cali.......

/End Rant.

Karo

My grandmother went through the same thing for a long time. Diabetes, ulcers, congestive heart failure, arthritis, among other things.
I'm more agnostic than anything, but I found myself asking why. It was sad to see my grandmother not being able to get out of her own bed, and having other people care for her. The pain that she was in didn't seem to bother her much. It was the fact that she couldn't take care of herself.
I was stationed in New Jersey at the time and wasn't able to say good bye to her in her final moments like the rest of my family. I learned in a Red Cross message that my mother had sent to my ship that my grandmother had passed. To be honest, it hurt that I didn't get to tell her goodbye and I loved her, but it was a huge load off of my shoulders that her suffering had finally ended.
I feel for you man. I asked myself the same questions you are. It's a frustration like no other.


Desert Tuners

“When you come across a big kettle of crazy, it’s best not to stir it.”

First, I'm sorry about your grandmother.

A lot of people will think that leading a good life will net you rewards in this life, but leading a good life is supposed to lead to rewards in the afterlife.

People also mistakenly believe that believing in God and being the person the Bible asks us to be will lead them away from strife and allow them to live problem free, but in fact the Bible is only a guide on how to cope with the problems and challenges you will face. You will not be problem free, but you'll know how to deal with your problems.

This is evidenced in the extremely strong religious beliefs of those who've discovered the Bible late in life after leading hard lives. With this new knowledge in hand on how to face life, their lives improve dramatically.




---

Karo: I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. I've gone through losing 2 granparents and its not easy, ever.

For the pain, there are pain management boluses that can be given if she asks for it. It's usually a heavy dose of morphine or some such opioid, and then maintenance doses. The pain is usually dulled very well, but it never totally goes away, until... well...

I can't speak for God. Bad things happen to good people, I wish I could be more eloquent.



Transeat In Exemplum: Let this stand as the example.

Karo....I do not have any input for you and Im sorry for that. I just wanted to send you my best wishes and pray for your grandmother's pain to go away.

Augustin pretty much nailed it. Salvation comes in the afterlife, not this one. Aside from that, she is in hospital, being maintained somewhat at least by medical staff. If she were alone in her home she would have died about 3 days after she was unable to feed herself. Her continuance is not part of the natural death process.

It is always sad to see someone suffer, and I feel for you. Just remember, if you can, that no matter how long she appears to linger, it is noting when compaired to eternity. There is no way to understand why, but you can take comfort in the fact that it has an end, she will pass, and you will have happier memories to hang on to.

I know this may seem like a harsh question, but does she have faith? As mentioned in the Bible, salvation does not come through deeds alone. The nicest person ever will not achieve salvation if they deny God (that applies to those who are aware of God, but deny him). You mention that you want her to take pride in her accomplishments. Perhaps pride wasn't exactly the word you were after as it is a sin itself. She should however take some comfort that she was able to do some good in the world.

The question is always asked, "Why do bad things happen to good people?". It cannot be answered, but you can guess. The better you are, the closer you are to God. The closer you are, the harder it gets. God in his perfection is a force so mighty that the mortal cannot approach, the closer you get, the more difficult it gets. As you eliminate your own sin, you have to dig deeper into yourself in order to make any further improvements. For most of us, it's easy.. We are so full of sin we can doll it out like pennies. For the rightous it is far more difficult. I hope that makes sense.

Try asking God to ease her pain. Do it for her, and do it for yourself.

PAX

Im not a very religious person and I dont know very much about the bible and such. Having said that....

Isnt heaven supposed to be the perfect place? Meaning no matter what you do whether you have faith or not, no matter how nice a person you are you must suffer some to be allowed admittance into heaven. Ive rarely seen anyone that didnt suffer at their deathbed after living a good life. And those that were lucky enough to die in there sleep led a life of suffering or suffered greatly at one point. Whether emotional or physical,Thats how Ive seen it.


____________________________________________________________________

Madjack wrote:Like I said before, building an engine like ours (2.2 or 2200) is a painstaking chore , since there is so few custom made parts. It's frustrating to me too, but that's what I like about doing this engine, it's the challenge.

I'm not going to comment on the quasi-religious aspects of this because i'm not christian, and thus can't give an intelligent answer on what the christian god *may* think.

But I did have to comment, aside from my extreme condolences to you and your family, I'm glad you and your family are doing what they are doing--by being with her and visiting her, and pushing aside what seeing her in pain does to you to try to make her feel better.

Take care, and I'm pulling for her pain to be eased in the best way possible...


Goodbye Callisto & Skaði, Hello Ishara:
2022 Kia Stinger GT2 AWD
The only thing every single person from every single walk of life on earth can truly say
they have in common is that their country is run by a bunch of fargin iceholes.

Dear God man I am so sorry to hear that ! While your here in MD if you need anything just ask. My prayers are with you and your family.




Semper Fi SAINT. May you rest in peace.

Why god let her suffer like that?? You really want my answer? Because god is an invention of someone who needed an explanation for the things he didn't understand. It's like anything else such as the spirits of the Cherokee or another Amerindian tribe. Human need to have an explanation for everything, if he doesn't have one, he invent it. I used to believe in it when I was young...... Now I don't believe in anything except life itself. People who always say : Why god let this happen to me, need to learn to handle their life a little better. It's not god's fault, it's called life. I respect those who believe in it, it's your choice, but don't try to convince me. Where the @!#$ he was when my father died at 54 after suffering in a damn hospital bed for 3 months.... my grandfather died a month and a half later and between christmas and new year, one of my cousin killed himself (All that in 2004). My grandmother (on my father side) lost 2 sons, how hard is it to take for a mother??? She go to church every sunday, she never missed it except if there was blizzard during winter and look what happen. I understand what you're living Karo and it suck, hope that her suffering will stop, no one deserve that. Good Luck!!

I believe that there is a spirit, be there many or one, and that everyone can worship, it, him ,her, them however they want. I consider myself christlike, but not christian for the belief of the majority is too far gone for me, and I don't agree with the leading media exposure portrayal of a christian, because I do not believe what their preaching on the TV.

Da Ghost (Qc) wrote:People who always say : Why god let this happen to me, need to learn to handle their life a little better. It's not god's fault, it's called life. I respect those who believe in it, it's your choice, but don't try to convince me.

I agree fully on this. People who do that have more issues than religion. It is my belief that it is your own responsibility and you make your own choices in your life. God is NOT a babysitter, but a watcher. Also what goes around comes around, do @!#$ to others, you get @!#$ on yourself, do good for others and it comes back 100fold, I've already experienced this many times in my own life. I pay for the bad I do and I'm rewarded for the good. I think everything happens for a reason even if you never know what that reason is. Get thru the tuff and it will make you a stronger person in th end. Personal responsibility comes first.

Da Ghost (Qc) wrote:Where the @!#$ he was when my father died at 54 after suffering in a damn hospital bed for 3 months.... my grandfather died a month and a half later and between christmas and new year, one of my cousin killed himself (All that in 2004). My grandmother (on my father side) lost 2 sons, how hard is it to take for a mother??? She go to church every sunday, she never missed it except if there was blizzard during winter and look what happen.

Sorry you feel that way, and I'm sorry for what happened to your family. We all make our own choices in life, and that is everyones right.

Didn't mean to go off topic here, I just don't want everyone to believe all christians are raving lunatics that belive in the GOOD LIFE, god is punishing us all, and the armageddon is at hand. Many of us are pretty level headed, and make up for the insanity in other areas such as modifying econobox 4-bangers


Karo: If at all possible I'd reccomend taking her home to wherever she was living before she was in the hospital. I don't think anyone should die in a hospital, there cold, stolid places, marked by both life, suffering, and death, there is little joy. If you have the means get her out of there and let her pass in a familiar place, away from the scarriness of the hospital.

Try and have someone with her at the minimal. Having someone their that cares for her will be comforting, even if the pain is unbearable.

My stepdad mother is at the end of her life right now. She's not suffering thankfully, but she almost died last night because her oxygen fell off. It won't be much longer for her but I don't think she regrets her life. We brought her home as she's currently battling pnumonia and the doctor wasn't willing to say either way if she'd recover from it or not. We have a sitter with her during the day, and a nurse from the hospital stops by every few days to check on her.


-Chris

^^^I would say that's a good call. If she doesn't want any pain relief, and to be hooked up to machines, and just wants to die being herself like that (nothing wrong with that--it's her life and her choice), I would say that yes...take her home.



Goodbye Callisto & Skaði, Hello Ishara:
2022 Kia Stinger GT2 AWD
The only thing every single person from every single walk of life on earth can truly say
they have in common is that their country is run by a bunch of fargin iceholes.

Here is an piece of an article you may want to read. The man who wrote this has far greater understanding than myself.

Quote:

What then is suffering to the Christian? It is Christ's invitation to us to follow him. Christ goes to the cross, and we are invited to follow to the same cross. Not because it is the cross, but because it is his. Suffering is blessed not because it is suffering but because it is his. Suffering is not the context that explains the cross; the cross is the context that explains suffering. The cross gives this new meaning to suffering; it is now not only between God and me but also between Father and Son. The first between is taken up into the Trinitarian exchanges of the second. Christ allows us to participate in his cross because that is his means of allowing us to participate in the exchanges of the Trinity, to share in the very inner life of God.

Freud says our two absolute needs are love and work. Both are now fulfilled by our greatest fear, suffering. Work, because our suffering now becomes opus dei, God's work, construction work on his kingdom. Love, because our suffering now becomes the work of love, the work of redemption, saving those we love.

From : Peter Kreeft website, link to article

PAX VOBISCUM

my prayers are with you buddy

The quote from Hahahaha said it very well, probably better than I could say it. I see it as a test and God uses it to see whether or not people will still be as faithful if they did not have a perfect life from Him. The story of Lazarus explains it very well - where a poor man, covered in sores and his body decaying, suffered horribly yet still kept his faith. He was ultimately rewarded in the afterlife for his strong faith and principle. I often look to this story when I try to understand why things happen, but, then again, we're not supposed to know exactly WHY God makes a certain decision, that's what faith is all about. Faith is believing even without proof and with our faith we must have trust that God's plan will end with us getting what we all deserve.

I know where you're coming from Karo; I lost my grandfather, I was very close to him, especially as a child. He died back home in Poland before I could go visit him again (after having moved to the United States). It was a hard time for my family and I and I hope you can get through this. Just know that no matter what you believe, I know that God is still watching over your grandmother, you, and your family. God Bless.



Blown.

Hey Karo,
I don't know if you remember me or not, but it's Dan from WI. Well, now it's SGT Dan in Iraq. NE ways, I am sorry for what your grandmother, your family, and you are going through. As a nurse, I see both the good and the bad of being in the hospital. I have seen people literally come back from the dead and live happily for years to come. When all hope was lost and even I was asking why were were keeping the PT around. I also have seen the opposite. Perfectly healthy people crash without warning.
The hospital is not a great place to die, but it does offer the best chance for survival. I am trained to save, it's hard to let anyone just go. I have had to before - DNR's - and sometimes it is for the best. Whatever you and your family decides, make sure it is what is best for her. I wish you and yours peace and happiness. Take care...


Team GREEN
Suspension Division - "Handling Before Horsepower"
Making the turns since 1999
1998 EK Civic Hatch - Yes, it's a Honda.