Just wondering what people think of marriage in todays society? It seems to me that aloallot people get married for the wedding. The way I see it if you aren't really religious, have already had sex, and are living together then what will it change? First the religion aspect if you truly do belbelieve your religion and attend service somewhat regularly then fine get married in a church but to those who are "insert religion here" simply cuz they were raised that way but rarely if ever practice said religion then why get married in a church? The sex thing well it's simple marriage used to be a step in a relationship when you moved in together and started having sex, today most people have sex and many move in before they are married so what will marriage change? Also society accepts non married couples living together and having kids it's no longer a shame issue. As far as marriage from a legal stand point well I could be wrong here but once you are common law then you have the same rights as a married couple. It's not that a really care if you go out and get married I just don't think it's for me and with the cost of wedding today " With 100 to 150 guests you can probably figure somewhere in the $10,000 to $20,000 range for a sit-down meal reception."from www.ezweddingplanner.com. just take half of that and go on a nice make that really nice vacation then invest the rest into a home. Well thats all I have to say for now please discuss.
AmazingJay
i agree, I have kids, i had a wedding, but never signed the marriage certificate.... so legally im single. this benifits me at tax time, i file single, clain my kids, and head of house, and i get a good peice of change.. but it changes nothing with me and my gurl. she changed her name and all but still, all marriage is, is a peice of paper. i didnt get married in a church either, im not very religious. and as far as the cash... yea you got the facts straight, ipaid for my own wedding.. forked out over 8 grand.. but i see it well spent.
i see where your coming from, but also think about in 60yrs (saying u r about 20ish now) do u still wanna say boyfriend/girlfriend? or husband and wife? i donno it just sounds weird being bf/gf being in the 80s+
It shouldn't be about how much you spend on your wedding or how many guests you have it should be about the commitment you make to each other. We got married at the JOP with only 2 witnesses and they were both friends. We were ready to get married and didn't want to wait. Being married is different than just living together or dating. You have to plan you future together and not be selfish.
Well, I've planned for the future for my GF, and frankly we've got a more stable relationship than a lot of married couples we know.
We're not married, but we're about as close as humanly possible, and I think that's enough for us. Ceromony and paper and legality be damned... If you're that committed to someone, who needs the extra stuff?
Transeat In Exemplum: Let this stand as the example.
Quote:
You have to plan you future together
Thats true but marriages are pretty much disposable these days years ago you said "I do" it really was forever, today you may mean it at the time but a few years later you call it quits and get divorced where is the commitment there? I am glad that you got married because you wanted to get married and not just for the pricess wedding. I am not against marriage and I do wish you and anybody who does get married the best, it's just that people seem to do it just because it is expected.
AmazingJay
marriage is just a piece of paper. thats it. you can still have future, kids, etc etc without a wedding. and most marriages these days end in divorce
Im a Xbox 360 fanboy...and damn proud of it!!
Well a lot of people now a days when they get married they arn't together for that long. I've seen a lot of people get married within the first year they're together and it doesn't work out. I want to get married some day, but I'd have to be with that person, live with them, and such for a while beforehand. I think people should live together before they get married. It gives you an idea ahead of time what that person is going to be like to live with, their habits, etc. Sometimes, when you're with a person, it may seem everything is fine until you live together, then discover that they have habits that annoy the crap out of you, you fight, it doesn't work out... etc.
I think people now a days just tend to rush into things, plus people today arn't raised with the same ideals of respect that our grandparents were raised with.
Society today in general is wayyy to messed up, especially in the US. Everyone is too easy to be offended, politically correct, blah blah blah.
"OMG! That person just said the "S" word!! i'm offended! I'm going to sue!!!"
Parents in general today don't spend the time with their kids that they used to. A lot of kids are raised mainly by nannies, babysitters, etc... or just sit their kids in front of the TV and don't take the time to teach them respect and good morals. They don't explain things they see on TV to their kids.
Granted this is not entirely true for everyone, but it happens more and more as each generation is born.
Children are not taught morals and values and respect as readily as children from past generations. I can't tell you how many times I've seen kids swear, yell, scream, and now show any respect for their elders. This in turn, over the years, turns into not showing other people respect, which I believe down the road affects their future relationships, thus explaining part of why so many marriages fail. They don't learn as children the values of respect, compromise, and how to deal with disagreements.
If everyone learned to respect one another, TALK about problems instead of getting so easily offended and yelling and screaming at each other, and learning to work with one another... there would be far less problems IMHO.
Good point, Angel
I won't be maried, i'll be handfasted...
Goodbye Callisto & Skaši, Hello Ishara:
2022 Kia Stinger GT2 AWD
The only thing every single person from every single walk of life on earth can truly say
they have in common is that their country is run by a bunch of fargin iceholes.
our country has very few morals any more i was raised by my grandparents in a coutry town and apmusfear and I am still not am moraly correct and and mature as i should be but they did a dang good job of raising me old school and I have a conchince which often kills me but they tought me right from wrong and thats what u need to know. as far as marriag goes alot of peopel dont respect that either I hope to some day find a girl and spend the rest of my life and be married but not soem bimbo so we can have sex or what ever and I am old fashion though if I knocked a girl up I would marrie her but when u marrie soem one that shoud be it for the rest of ur life no one else ever that heavey and u need to be ready for that befor u say I do well thats my .02 cents
Brad: I'm not trying to pick on you, but spell check
Really, that was hard to read man.
ampusfear=atmosphere
conchince=consience
Anyhow.. otherwise, I dig what you're saying, I just think that if you're not really that into the person you're with, you should at least have the balls to say it. I think the reason marriages fail so often and so collossally is that people aren't honest with themselves, or each other.
Transeat In Exemplum: Let this stand as the example.
I think we can look to the economy for a root cause to the problem. People are having to work more for less than ever before. As the demand on their lives by the job grows, family time has been shrinking. In the 1950's one parent could work and one could be home. No problem. But unless one partner or the other is making a huge income, one isnt enough to raise a family on. The whole "daddy wasnt there" problem is real.
Plus every time i turn on the tv I am being told to spend money. The president said spend money to fight the terrorists. huh? The media says to buy hot cars, big tvs, big homes, SUV's. America has become commercialized, and so has the family. It isnt baout the quality of the family anymore, but whether they look the part in the eyes of the media and their peers.
children arent being raised, from poor to rich.
What's cooler..than being cool?
Icecold: Interesting, but, the 30's were undoubtably MUCH harder on marriages than the current combustion chamber economy is.
During the 50's you also have to remember, there were great threats from a single defined enemy, and due to the availability of cheap goods and relatively low inflation, it was a lot easier for people to get by. Today, the average compensation of workers has actually dropped by a third because pay increases haven't kept pace with inflation, splash on to that a healthy dollop of unbridled government spending and lax fiscal policies, as well as a dash of labor exportation friendly policies over the last 10 years... well, it's turning into 19th Century Great Britain (A few extremely wealthy people, a few middle-class, and a LOT of extremely poor people), I'm just waiting for debtor's prisons to return.
Really, the middle class is getting squeezed , and let's not have any illusions, it's not into the wealthy end of the toothpaste tube.
Transeat In Exemplum: Let this stand as the example.
back to the original topic...
marriage is something that's always been important to me...but i could care less about some huge shindig...my dad requested i elope, and frankly i don't mine that idea. i'd rather have a small ceremony, and spend the money saved on the honeymoon.
now...i don't get why so many couples are living together, having kids, buying homes together, etc, without getting married. what if one of them dies? the other one doesn't get the house, or anything else...the widow/widower has to BUY whatever they want of their own possessions from the state. retarded, no?
my Dawgy's the bestest
Depends on the state. If you own a house without a will, you also oughtta play a few games of russian roulette while you're at it.
My will dictates that my GF will recieve half of the sum of my estate left after all debts are settled, my parents or sister (whichever are remaining) split the rest of the remainder equally, including all inheiritances I would have been due to recieve (that is also written into the wills of those that have mentioned me as a beneficiary basically a "Next of Kin" clause).
It all depends on whether or not you choose to take the time to plan for the future. Kelly and I have both drawn up wills, and have a set time-table to review them bi-yearly. If there are any changes, then they are discussed ahead of time. It's something my Lawyer advised as soon as we bought our house and got life insurance policies.
Transeat In Exemplum: Let this stand as the example.
MikeGT wrote:i see where your coming from, but also think about in 60yrs (saying u r about 20ish now) do u still wanna say boyfriend/girlfriend? or husband and wife? i donno it just sounds weird being bf/gf being in the 80s+
at that point they call them "friends"
my Dawgy's the bestest
Hey Im all for the common law marriage.. Live with a guy in my case for 7 years and the state says your legally marriage just no paper. My momma is commoned lawed and she refers to him as her husband just depends on what the couple agrees upon.. Im catholic and for marriage but to much divorce now a days.
MY CAR SITE
I wanna Be Barbie That Bitch has everything!
OoOoO Wait.. I AM THE BITCH with everything!!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
agree sister!
just a side questions, didn't they due away with common law marrages? I took a law class last quarter, and the teacher briefly made a commit about it. Something how they stopped it like 10 years ago, but still legal for people who were together before they stopped it...
or maybe that was just an ohio thing?
Promise that forever we will never get better at growing up and learning to lie
here's my story. we dated for around 8.5 years before we got married, we lived together had sex blah blah blah, and she wanted a wedding, and i know my parents wanted it as well. me i could care less, at first i thought the same way you did, that we should just use the money for a new house. but i figured if were going to do it i was going to do it right. i got married in a church, but im not religious i talked to the minister before hand and she knew my beleifs on organized religion so our vows and ceremony was more earthbased and spiritual then it was religious. we were married in a church because frankly i didnt want to get married in a hall, or at the courthouse, and i didnt want to deal with possible rain the church was nice looking and inexpensive. we didnt get married for the piece of paper or for the gifts, we got married for the shear fact that we wanted everyone to celebrate our life long commitment to each other. and after it was overwith, it was probalby one of the best nights in my life. id do it again in a heartbeat.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sndsgood/ https://www.facebook.com/#!/Square1Photography
Maybe I shouldn't be in here reading all of this.
I just proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years tonight. Course she said yes.
The wedding wont be for quite a while yet. I just wanted to show her where I wanted this to lead and what she meant to me. Really I am not a big wedding person, I feel that if I love someone it wont change if I have a ring on my finger. But in this society its kind of expected.
Rollinredcavi wrote:Maybe I shouldn't be in here reading all of this.
I just proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years tonight. Course she said yes.
The wedding wont be for quite a while yet. I just wanted to show her where I wanted this to lead and what she meant to me. Really I am not a big wedding person, I feel that if I love someone it wont change if I have a ring on my finger. But in this society its kind of expected.
Congratulations!!!
My only advice, don't do it because it's expected.. it's your relationship, and you dictate what you want to put in and get out of it.
Transeat In Exemplum: Let this stand as the example.
GAM (The Kilted One) wrote:Rollinredcavi wrote:Maybe I shouldn't be in here reading all of this.
I just proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years tonight. Course she said yes.
The wedding wont be for quite a while yet. I just wanted to show her where I wanted this to lead and what she meant to me. Really I am not a big wedding person, I feel that if I love someone it wont change if I have a ring on my finger. But in this society its kind of expected.
Congratulations!!!
My only advice, don't do it because it's expected.. it's your relationship, and you dictate what you want to put in and get out of it.
Thanks man.
I really do love her enough to get married, to me its just that I dont even really car either way. She wanted to be married at some point. So I figured since it doesnt matter to me either way I will give her what she wants. The wedding will by a while off yet. But it time goes fast.
Yeah.. along with money man...
Shoot me your address so I can send a wedding gift (it's about 8' long and leather
).
J/k of course.
Congrats again.
Transeat In Exemplum: Let this stand as the example.
Uh the papers are important.
Yea if your "married" and your a darn WOP (not italian in this case) its just a glorified bf/gf thing to me. I mean that the legal acknowledgement of your marriage. Just gonna wake up one morning decide you can't stand the other person and leave? Cause you can. Thats whats so crappy about divorce is it seems that at the first sign of trouble people jump ship on a marriage (you know that commitment your supposed to keep for life) and without papers its just that much easier.
Call me old fashioned but when/if I get married, I'm not going to give up that easily. Yea theres some legit reasons to get a divorce. like spousal abuse and maybe cheating. But stupid little arguments and crap is not enough to throw it away.
Most people who hang out in the war forum are a bunch of cynics( and if that works for you. good on ya) so those just proposing or thinking about it don't get scared away.
